I heart my lil' Coppertone Girl

• "Chocolate always loves you back"

• "You can put lipstick on a pig, and it's STILL Sarah Palin" (my current fav)

• "thirteen, fourteen, FIVEteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, TWENTY!"

Hub: "Good Morning!! I'm going to pick up breakfast and coffee"

Wifey: "Great, I'll get the Sunday paper ready to read, and wait for you to get back"

--twenty minutes later, he arrives back at home

Hub: "Thought you were making coffee?"

Wifey: Um, thought you were getting breakfast and coffee?"

Hub: "Oh yeah, guess I'll make the coffee, then"

• We decided to go bowling on Friday, and as I was teaching my little girl to bowl, she bent down, and lost her hair bow on the lane. Forgetting that the lanes are slicker than snot, I reach down to get it...only to fall on my effing ASS!!!! I tried to get up several times, but failed miserably...so I had to slide my ass off the lane. I was hurting so bad, yet it was so damn funny. I was walking funny, but people around me thought that I was doing the "cool dance". HA HA Karma pulled through for me, because I scored 174...3 strikes in a row, and picked up most of my spares. I seriously, CANNOT BOWL. Hub's score was 98, and our FES' score was 56....did I mention that our darling daughter would just put the ball down, and roll it. Granted, it took about a week for the ball to reach the pins, but she ended up with a better score than our FES.
  Though I was hurting like a mofo, I am still laughing about it. DUH! Everyone knows that you're not supposed to walk onto the lanes.
  

Kailee went to sleep on her own last night, and slept in her bed until 6AM! YEAH!!!! It's 8:30, and she's still asleep. SCORE! I'm hoping to break her of these damn night terrors. They suck! Note to ANYONE who has a toddler: Get them on a good sleep regiman. If not, they could have night terrors.

A night terror, also known as pavor nocturnus, is a parasomnia sleep disorder characterized by extreme terror and a temporary inability to regain full consciousness. The subject wakes abruptly from slow-wave sleep, with waking usually accompanied by gasping, moaning, or screaming. It is often impossible to fully awaken the person, and after the episode the subject normally settles back to sleep without waking. A night terror can rarely be recalled by the subject. They typically occur during non-rapid eye movement sleep.

Hooray for this Mommy for getting her to bed early, turning off the tv at 6pm, dinner and bathtime done by 8pm, and asleep by 8:45.

Can I getta whoo whoo!!!

Oh, how I never thought I'd hear the haunting words of a 21 year old say "you're going to be HOW OLD on your next birthday? 30? Wow, you're getting up there!" Hmmmm? I had to think about that one for a second. Ok, so we're in the same workout group together, she's 21, and though she just had a baby, her body has so much elasticity that she looks like she just stepped out of a high school cheerleader locker room. Ugh. Make me sick. Bitch doesn't need to be here....working out, nor telling me that I'm basically getting OLD! ha.
None the less, the girl really is a sweet girl, just clueless sometimes. I want to thank her, because that day, I worked my ever loving ASS off. By God, I was going to work off my 3 1/2 year old baby fat. Yes, I breastfed like a MFer, and lost all of my baby weight...well, most of it. Then, I re-discovered "Mommy's Medicine" WINE! Uh oh. I could actually see the wine filling up my ass, so my weight went right back on.
Anyway, I realized very quickly, that I wasn't 22 anymore. I couldn't drink as much as I wanted to without working out, and expect my body to stay firm and cute. No, no, no!

So that night, I corked a bottle of wine (go figure, 'eh?) and gave the ol' Mom a call. I told her what the lovely little 21 year old had said, and she reminded me that, she turned the big 5-0 last November. She told me that your 20's are the WORST, 30's are pretty good, but that her 40's, were so far the BEST! She was actually looking forward to life in her 50's! Um, CHEERS to Mom on that one! I'll think I'll have another glass on that note..............

I'm not saying that I'm the least bit scared of turning 30. Hell, I'm just happy that I still get birthdays, however I do remember being 21 and thinking exactly what that girl had said. 30 is OLD. I just say old...ER! I'm excited to be 30. I'm hoping that the major, petty worries of my 20's won't follow me there, either. By the way, I must give thanks to the women of Sex and the City! Let's raise our glasses to the Fab 4, for making ages 30-50 SEXY! Eat that, 21 year olds! ha ha ha

From one old...ER hag to another...
~CHEERS!

So, it's been awhile. I haven't written a "post" in quite some time because I've been swamped with everything from pictures, to cleaning, to getting prepared for our Foreign Exchange Student that's coming in less than two weeks! Am I crazy, or what?!?

We just got back from our "family vacation". Destination: Pensacola Beach. A long 13 hour drive. Kailee did so well in the car. We provided her with a DVD player, her own mixed Cd's, books and lots of snacks. Mission Accomplished! When we crossed the Florida border, we were antsy to get out of the car, yet bitter because it was raining. We kept hearing the ol' saying "if you don't like the weather in Florida, wait 15 minutes, and it'll change. Well, guess what?! It didn't change. It rained until we pulled in the driveway. Thank god for that too! We stayed at my "Aunt's" condo. She's actually, my Biological Mother, but seeing that I was adopted within the family, we've always called her my Aunt. I'll explain later.
Anyway, she and her husband have a beach front condo. I swear, it's the most beautiful place in the US. It's got a deck that faces the water, so every morning, we would eat our healthy, fresh fruit breakfast on the deck and watch for dolphins. Ahh, pure bliss.

We'd get up and around about 8:30, then head down to be "beach bums". Our first day there, we went to the water, and noticed the unusual amounts of jelly fish. Those little fuckers STING and it HURTS! We had our nets, and were catching them left and right. Ewww...be careful of their tentacles though, because they're what stings you.
With that being said, we did get in the water the first day, but didn't stay in there for long. The jelly fish got better throughout the week. Thank goodness there was a pool on the other side of the condo. That's how the rest of the week went, we'd go down, lay on the beach for a few hours...making sandcastles, looking for seashells, and watching Bryan boogie board, then went down to the pool to cool off. Sandcastles...another subject. It's hard to make a really good sandcastle in Pensacola Beach. The sand is super soft, not to mention white! I am declaring myself as a "beach snob" from now on. I don't want to "vacation" anywhere that the sand is brown. Ick. ha ha. just kidding.

By Tuesday, our lil' beach bum, had the cutest little Coppertone tan, you've ever seen. Her little white booty, and her brown arms and legs. Too cute.
There was one day (Thursday) when we left the island, and went to my "Aunts" ranch house. Wow. What a nice getaway. And I thought the condo on the beach was a nice getaway.
She had horses, a pool and a children's playground. Kailee was in HEAVEN! I swear, these horses were like dogs. They just came up to us, and begged to have us pet them.

All and all, we had a great time. I don't think that we've ever had a family vacation, where we just relaxed. No agenda to go by. It was great! Pensacola Beach was great, because it wasn't too crowded. I highly recommend it to families with young-ins.

Our first day back was hell. What is wrong with the weather here? I went to the grocery store on Sunday, get in my car, and see that the outside temp was 111 degrees. Now, that's just what it felt like, but DAMN SMOKEY! That's some hot shit. When we were on our way back from Florida, we stopped in Russellville to see my Granny. The 6 o'clock news came on, and they had did a study where they put raw cookie dough on a cookie sheet, put it in a car and they actually baked!! That's one way to save on your energy bill. Um, I guess. ha

That's all for now, folks. I'm going to try to write more. I really enjoy it. Sometimes, I don't have a lot to say, but I still like to get it out. It's so good for the mind.

Peace out to my homies~
~m

Yes indeed, I had food poisoning last week and though I've lost weight, I've felt like total crap-ola!
I thought it was the "bug" that had been going around, but when my mouth tasted funny (almost like a acid gas...strange, I know) , no fever, and felt like someone was punching my stomach. I just knew something had to be up. Kailee nor Bry got it either. Hmmm?
After researching and talking to two "Natural" Docs, and my father, who is a food safety expert, basically it seems that I've had salmonella. ICK! The ONE time I order chicken at a restaurant, I get food poisoning. Why don't I eat chicken at restaurants? Because they're DIRTY animals. Disgusting. Have you ever been beside a Tyson truck and seen the chickens inside. They all look pink and sick. Ewwww...
Note: I was a vegetarian for 9 years before I got pregnant. Um, leaning that way again, real soon! Also, if you're ever having a pot luck and want me to bring something, don't count on me bringing chicken because it will be so dry that you could feed it to your dog as jerky! Seriously!
I'd hate for anyone to get sick from a nasty bird!

Today was the first day that I was able to eat an entire meal without my stomach hurting afterwards. Hooooorrrrrrraaaaaayyyyy!!!!!!!
Speaking of which, I must note that probably the reason why my stomach didn't hurt is because I ate so little. Not because I wasn't hungry, either. A good friend of mine told me about these "Gluten Free" rice flour noodles. Ahh, healthy! At last, a great alternative to wheat noodles.
Maybe great for some, but dude, they SUCK! For one, the texture is like slop! First of all, I don't eat a lot of speghetti. Ya see, I was fed the cheap Italian meal about once, possibly twice a week growing up. Needless to say, I'm sick of it!! So, when I decided to make it tonight, I was so excited because of my new, "healthy" noodles. I spent hours making my own marinara sauce too. I stick the noodles in the pot and let them boil for 8-9 minutes (package says 10) Yo, my high school cafeteria could've done them better justice.
I think that if and when I make speghetti again, I'll stick to my whole wheat noodles. They have more fiber and protein in them anyway. Thanks for the tip though. They're just not for me. I hate to waste food too, but we're not going to eat the speghetti tomorrow so, if you're hungy, let me know. Otherwise, it's going in the garbage! Bye Bye Slop! Appetizing, huh?!?

At any rate, I'm loosing weight. Just not the "feel good" way. I'm sure I'll make up for it this weekend. HA! Until then, don't eat the chicken.......

As I am working on pictures (my job...uh, hmm, my HOBBY) I'm also waiting for my pot to dry. HA! HA HA HA...Bevis and Butthead are coming to mind just now..."waiting for my pot to dry" ?? ha, ha. Nah, I am painting my pots that I am re-potting my plants in. I didn't want to waste money on buying decorative pots, therefore I am painting my own. My current pot, (i just love saying that) is black with white polka dots, to match my house.

I think I'm going to write a list on what to tell my daughter to keep from her younger days for when she's older. Ok, so I was out in my garage looking for my handy dandy, polka dot sponge (yes, I need a friggin' sponge to have a polka dot, I can't draw two circles alike, ya know) when I spotted my old photo album from high school. Rule #1, keep a photo album! Boy, was I a dork! ha. I had all sorts of pictures with random high school peers that are all so different now. Ok, what was up with the burgandy, dark green and navy striped shirts...worn by dudes with "bowl cuts"? WoW! And to think that I actually thought these guys were cute? Cute, I'm telling you. No "hotties" actually were in my class because, they were all older than me by this point. I had a "thing" for the older guys in bands tho. I was going to "marry" Shannon Hoon from Blind Melon, thank you very much. I was actually too chicken to go even to 3rd base with anyone but the thought still crossed my mind. I hung out in bars/clubs that had a crowd of about mid 20's to late 40's. Mind you, I was no Amy Fisher or anything...I just liked the older crowd.

Rule #2, ticket stubs and guitar picks!!! Keep them ALL! It's a trip down memory lane with each and every show. I could sell these suckers for some $$$ if I wanted to. I've see more concerts in 29 years than most people have in their whole lives. You would've thought I was a true "Groupie" but in all honesty, I just hung out with one, so technically, I was a poser...a VIRGIN poser, mind you. I had a friend (she was 26, I was 15) who would send headless naked pictures to Mick Jagger every single day. Seriously. This advice, I will NOT give to my Darling Daughter. I had no part in that stuff.

Rule #3, Have timeless hair. No matter what, you can always tell what decade you were living in, by your hair!!!! Why oh why did I have such beautiful hair in the 90's but failed miserably to style it?? Why? It was enough that my jeans were messed up with that tight roll crap, but my hair? Ugh! Not cool. And to think that my poor, adorable friend, Dash actually looked up to me. Again, WHY? Thanks, Dash! Really...

Last thing...going through old year books always make me laugh! Not the pictures, but the signings that people write. My favorites are the ones from the girls that LOVE their boyfriends so much and swear that they'll be together for ever and ever. "Hey girl, you better not forget me this summer, and keep in touch! Seniors RULE! I love Nathan 4-EVER & EVER! Love Always, Tracy" Ummm, OK?
Or, the ones that say "Math class was really boring but I never would've made it without you. Take care, Brad" WHO THE HELL IS BRAD? I don't remember a Brad.
At any rate, Brad, Tracy...whomever these people are has made me laugh 12 years later. Thank you!

Until then, I'm going to ROCK ON with my pot......
Love ALWAYS,
~m

OK, so I found my last blogger account. I knew my last posts weren't gone. Here's the link if you'd like to check out some other blogs that I've written....if you care. ha. just kidding.

http://maliahpinkleton.blogspot.com/

I'm going to start actually writing my stories down that I tell Kailee every night. We read a book, then I continue my creative stories about "The Adventures of Bernice and Kate"
Bernice lives in the country in New York and Kate lives in the NYC. It's pretty cool. Kailee is by far my biggest fan and she loves them. HA HA HA!